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Emotions
A
diagnosis of diabetes can send shock waves through your entire family. It
will take some time for your family to work through all the emotions that
started with the diagnosis-- but it will happen. Caring for diabetes will
simply become a part of family life. But in the first weeks and months
after diagnosis, expect that you, your child, and your family will
experience an array of emotions.
Grief.
We usually think of grief only in connection with a death. But a
diagnosis of diabetes can feel like a death to both parents and
children-- the death of your previous way of life (which seems care-free
in retrospect), the death of spontaneity, the death of your idea that
you can protect your child from all harm. Give yourself and the rest of
your family the time and freedom to grieve the losses that you may
feel.
Denial.
Your child may pretend that he doesn't have diabetes or that it will go
away soon. He may try to get out of taking shots, checking blood sugar,
or eating healthfully. You may try not to think about diabetes for as
long as possible.
Anger.
Your child may think, "Why am I the one with diabetes?" He
might become angry with you, his friends, or his siblings more often
than he used to. As a parent, you may also deal with anger-- at
yourself, your child, your spouse, even the doctor. Of course, what
you're really angry at is diabetes itself.
Depression.
Your child has the blues. He may feel sad, tired, or hopeless. He may
tell you that diabetes has ruined his life. You may also experience
depression. You may cry more than usual or dwell on the most negative
possibilities for your child.
Fear
and anxiety. Your child is worried about his diabetes or other
things in his life. He is terrified of needles or of a hypoglycemic
reaction. As a parent, you may feel overwhelmed by trying to deal with
diabetes and still remaining strong for your child. You worry about his
future or by what might happen if you make a mistake in treating his
diabetes.
Guilt.
Your child thinks that having diabetes is his fault. He may feel to
blame for burdening the rest of the family with diabetes. As a parent,
you may blame yourself for his diabetes or for not having caught it
earlier.
Remember,
it’s normal for you and your child to feel angry, sad, confused, and all
sorts of other emotions—sometimes all at the same time. But there are
strategies to help both of you through this time of emotional upheaval.
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Dealing
with denial: Talk to supportive family
members and friends about diabetes. Encourage your child to do the
same (but don’t push him). Learn as much about diabetes as you can,
and teach your child about diabetes. If he avoids or refuses to help
in his diabetes care, help him choose a few attainable goals to work
toward (like checking his sugar once a day or pushing the plunger down
after you inject the needle).
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Defusing
anger: Do something active, like running
or bike-riding. Write out your feelings in a journal or notebook. Take
some deep breaths, count to 10, get a drink of water.
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Dealing
with depression, fear, or anxiety: Talk
to a friend or family member about your feelings. Write down your
thoughts and feelings. Take a walk or do some other kind of exercise.
Do something that you or your child likes to do—watching a favorite
movie, going to the mall, talking to friends. Try to take the focus
off of diabetes—even if you can only manage it for a few hours at
first.
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Getting
rid of guilt: Remember that no one knows
why certain people get diabetes. Nothing you or anyone did could have
caused diabetes. Reassure your child (and yourself) that no one
"deserves" diabetes, and no one is at fault.
Encourage
your child to talk to you about his feelings. Be angry at diabetes
together—then turn that energy toward something constructive, like
learning how to "beat" diabetes by keeping blood sugar in
control, or advocating for more diabetes research. Support groups for
parents and children/teens with diabetes can be a great help for both you
and your child. It’s great to talk about diabetes with people who have
been there.
When
Depression Turns Serious
Feelings
of sadness and loss are a normal reaction to the diagnosis of diabetes.
But some people—both adults and children—can become "stuck"
in depression. Signs of depression include:
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Not
caring about things you used to like to do;
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Having
trouble sleeping or sleeping too much;
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Eating
a lot more or less than usual;
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Losing
or gaining a lot of weight without trying;
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Having
trouble concentrating;
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Fatigue,
nervousness, or anxiety;
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Frequent
crying;
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Feeling
worse in the morning than during the rest of the day;
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Thinking
about dying or ways to hurt yourself.
If
this sounds like your child (or you), get help immediately. A doctor can
discover or rule out a physical reason for the depression. The doctor can
also recommend that your child (and/or the whole family) see a counselor,
psychiatrist, or other mental health professional. Some people feel that
getting help for depression or some other mental health issue is a sign of
weakness or failure. It is not—sometimes it takes more courage to ask
for help than it does to tough it out. A mental health professional may
prescribe medication for depression, counsel your child, or both. Don’t
give up. Your child (and you) can feel better.
For
more information, see our Tips for Helping Your Child Cope with
Diabetes.
Click
here to go to the Parent Forum and
talk with other parents of children with diabetes.
Proud sponsors of the American Diabetes
Association WizdomTM program:
 
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